New Year, New Start, No Playing

Today I'm going to get my taxes done by the same accountant we've used for the last 13 years. I realized that while a LOT of things have changed over the last few years there are so many that have stayed the same. It all comes down to one thing. I am awesome at starting and planning and then everything goes to crap. Anyone else feel that way?Yep, thought so.

Last night, after talking to a friend that I grew up with, but haven't seen in YEARS, I realized that a lot of reasons that my life hasn't changed in the ways I truly want it to is because I haven't put forth the effort. There, I said it. It wasn't important enough.

Guess I should feel better about saying it. Kinda makes me feel like a crappy person to admit that I haven't realized how much time I've wasted and allowed to pass. Looking over my last posts I paid lip service to the fact that I let things slide but I still never made the decision to change.

This year is already full of so much opportunity. We are close to paying off all of our debt. We are planning two, yes two, vacations in the next 13 months and our two kids have moved downstairs even if all of the repairs aren't finished. With the debt payoffs we will be able to make greater progress in our home repairs and start building a significant emergency fund. My focus on working my plan can mean the difference between huge success and us still struggling at the end of the year. Essentially, it's all in my lap.

No let's do this thing!

Day 6: Welcome to Parenthood? What's Your Dream? Everyone in Parenthood has a Dream.

Have you ever seen the movie Pretty Woman? Somewhere in the movie there's a man on the street that is spouting "Welcome to Hollywood. What's your dream? Everyone that comes to Hollywood has a dream."

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That is where my title started. As I began to think about it, the words really began to take on a subject all their own. First time parents are all excited about their new bundle. They have high expectation of adorably dressed bundles that they can mold into these super smart and awesome human beings. Stories of sleepless nights and their lives changing forever seem to be listened to but not actually heard. Most of us get the surprise that as cute as babies are, lack of sleep-endless dirty diapers-mountains of laundry and chasing a little one that is learning to walk, will crack the rose-colored glasses of parenthood pretty quick. 

Take a Step Back

I want you to take a step out of your current chaos. (Yes, as a mother of four I understand the meaning of chaos.) Take a look at where your kids are in regards to becoming the awesome people you want/wanted them to be. Do they have adequate life skills? As much as you want to baby them or that you fear for their safety, have you taught them the skills they need in order to be productive human beings? I will confess that I have been stuck in the baby/toddler rut for so long that I didn't teach my kids to cut their own meat until they started reaching 9-10 years old. Then I realized that as easy as it is for me to do it, I am doing them a disservice by folding their laundry, picking up after them and putting food on their plates.  

Helping?

What are you doing that your kids could easily do? Even at 3 and 4 years old they can match socks and put their clothes into their dresser or closet. I know several moms that have told me their 10 year olds do their own laundry. This was a big eye-opening statement because growing up I wasn't allowed to touch the laundry. So my first load was done on my own with NO IDEA how to do it. I felt like an idiot trying to figure out how to sort colors and understanding what temperature to set things at. 

Again I Ask

 What is your parenthood dream? Do you want your children to go off to college? Do you want them to have a good work ethic? Should they know how to cook, do laundry, manage their finances, shop smart? There are so many skills that us parents use that we often forget should be taught. These are not ingrained in us when we are born. Just look at the differences in those that were taught to cook and those that were not. For someone that has had to learn the domestic arts AND money management the hard way I want to implore you to start working with your kids now.

Develop a Plan

Work with where your kids are and what is appropriate. I'm starting with a list of age appropriate skills that I want my kids to learn this year. They start with one chore and then add a new one every couple of weeks. They are all part of your family which is like a community. Everyone must do their own part to contribute to the "community". Everyone needs clothes to wear so we all must chip in with laundry. Everyone needs to eat so each person can help with cooking or setting the table. A clean environment makes living easier and healthier so everyone needs to help clean up and keep things clean. 

A child that has the necessary life skills at home will feel confident in taking on the world. They have a greater self esteem overall that follows them wherever they go. Take it from someone who had to learn essentially all of her skills on the fly. As a homemaker we often forget that our skills are some of the most important that our children will ever learn. 

Day 5: All the World's a Stage; What Character are You?

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Growing up around the theater I had heard the expression "All the world's a stage" numerous times. Just recently it dawned on me that there are a variety of meanings that you can put with that statement. Take a few moments to really consider your life story on the stage of the world's theater. What story is being told? You are the main character. Do you think anyone cares about your character? I do. The question I'm asking myself right now is- do I like the character I am showing to the world?

As a fiction writer I have to understand my characters. This means knowing how they move, what they would wear, what they would say and how they would react to the things around them. The other day I looked in the mirror and realized that I am completely distanced from the character my actions and body shape portray. The person looking back at me in the mirror  was a frumpy, miserable, angry, tired-looking woman. That's not the character/person that I thought I was. It is not the one I want to be.

This was no more prominent than a few weeks ago when I went on a job interview. I dressed my best. My hair and makeup were perfect. I felt confident and my posture and disposition proved how good I felt about myself. I accomplished great things that day, including landing the job. AND I felt pretty awesome. No yelling or losing my temper. Not even crazy bumper to bumper traffic could turn me into a raving lunatic. THIS was the character I was meant to play. This "Throw anything at me right now because I can tackle the world" character.

And just like that *insert snap of fingers here* the old frumpy woman appeared the next day. What happened? How did she come back so soon? To be honest, it's because permanent change is a pain in the butt. It's not something that happens overnight. Being someone else for a day is easy. BECOMING the person you truly want to be takes time and effort. So you with me?

Time to ask yourself if your clothing, hair, body and makeup match the character you want to be. Take a long look in the mirror at the average, everyday you. Do you look like more like Patricia Heaton, Dana Delany, or Rosanne Barr? Who do you want to look like?

Take charge of carefully creating the character you want to be in your own life. Keep reading your goals everyday. Take the necessary daily steps to mold the person you are destined to become.

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