But it's All Their Fault

Keeping with our goals of creating better relationships with family and friends and our 100 day change your life challenge, I want you to take a look at how many times a day you blame someone else for what's going wrong in your day. I have noticed that I am where I am because I became good at blaming someone else for why things didn't go well.

This happens without our knowledge. We decide to hit the snooze button one too many times in the morning. Then we're running around making sure everyone's up, throwing on whatever clothes happen to be clean and throwing Pop Tarts or some other convenience food at our kids for breakfast. When Tommy has a meltdown or Sarah can't find her shoes then we start to fall apart. We begin yelling or complaining that we're going to be late because Sarah didn't put her shoes in the right place or because Tommy wants to throw a tantrum.

On your way to drop them off at school, because they missed the bus, you get behind someone driving the speed limit. You get so frustrated. Why can't they go faster? What's wrong with them? Don't they know your kids are going to be late to school AGAIN?

This only spirals from one thing to another. You are so wound up that it seems like everyone is in slow motion. The checkout person at the grocery store is taking way too long. You have to clean up dog pee and poop from the carpet because you didn't have time to take him on his walk before you left with the kids. You forget to lay out the meat for that night's dinner and have nothing to fix at four o'clock. Then you end up ordering pizza or going through the drive-thru.

All of this makes you extra cranky when it comes time to help with homework and bath time. Instead of enjoying your kids you are short with them and maybe even yell a few times. Why can't they just hurry up and finish their homework? Why do they have to hose down the bathroom?

All of this because you wanted an extra 15-30 minutes of sleep. Was it worth it? Did you feel you deserved it because of the crazy day you had before? See the cycle? Instead of blaming others for why you are overweight, in debt, stressed out, removed emotionally from your husband and children; take a good look in the mirror.

What daily tasks can you accomplish that will allow you to change those unwanted realities of your life? Get up that extra 30 minutes and actually have breakfast with your kids or even with just you. Creating a quick and healthy meal is possible and eating it in a relaxing atmosphere instead of in the car helps you with the peaceful time before attacking the world's demands.

Plan your meal for that night in the morning or the night before. Set out the clothes you want to wear the night before. Help your kids do this too. Those that can dress themselves won't be asking you where their socks are because you took 5-10 minutes the night before to prepare for tomorrow.

Know what you want in life and take baby step EVERY day in order to reach those goals. We're implementing routines at night and in the morning to help eliminate chaos. None of the kids likes picking out their clothes the night before but they are enjoying having them ready in the morning. Stop using "but it's all their fault" and start being proactive in your daily life.

It's That Time of the Month . . .I Mean Year

Yeah it seems that it's about this time every year that I realize I have done nothing to plan for the holidays. It is also the time that I begin to panic and go into permanent PMS mode. Yes everything turns into crying or intense hissy fit. Come on, you don't have a royal melt down when you start getting notices about stuff to buy or send to school, buying Halloween costumes, making Thanksgiving dinner and getting ready for Christmas? Because I adore dragging four children under the age of 12 from one house to another and getting them loaded up on sugar just in time for the hour long car ride home. If that isn't something you've experienced then think of pulling four children out of their warm bed at 7 or 8 in the morning to eat breakfast and pack up the car with gifts for other people. The youngest are actually easier than the 12 year old, that is until it's time to brush their hair and teeth. You are then spending hours opening up one present after another (our families go all out) having them eat "just one piece" of dessert which turns into "just one piece" of EVERY dessert. Then you load all of the presents into the back of the car and cram the kids into the car hot and sweaty because they've been running around Grandma's house in the stifling heat. You then drive an hour home listening to "I'm hungry" because they spent less time eating and more time playing. And that's just Christmas, we won't discuss Halloween and Thanksgiving.

NO MORE! I'm calling a halt to it this year.

This year is a new house, new schools and new traditions. Real traditions. Guess what? I'm going to share them all with you right here. The next 100 days are about remodeling/decorating our new home, creating holiday memories with my family(instead of running around from one event to another) and making homemade Christmas presents. I may throw in a few furniture redos and creations just to mix it up. 

What are your favorite holiday horror stories memories?

Help out the local animal shelter by donating money through our donate money link on the right. My goal is to vaccinate 100 animals by the end of the year.

Treading Water

As I sit and read through blogs of women older than myself, those in their 40s or 50s, I find a bit of a pattern developing. Those that no longer have young children at home, and some that do, are talking of how wonderful their lives are now that they've come through their divorce. They aren't saying that their divorce was wonderful, just that they are currently happier than they were in marriage.

Is that the way of it now? That you raise your kids then bail? Not on your kids of course. Yes, I'm rambling. When did it become acceptable to leave a 20 year marriage because the kids are finally grown? I don't know what went on in these marriages and it is none of my business. What is my business is what happens in my marriage. We celebrated our anniversary last week. 14 years. It came and went as often it does. We have become complacent and after reading one more blog about a woman succeeding at being single and 40 or 50 I decided that I had had enough. Enough of going through the motions of simply making it through the day. Enough of discussing the children but not each others hopes and dreams.

Every day is a gift. What if you were told that you had 30 days to live? Would you do the same thing you do everyday? Would you wait for your spouse or your children to say I love you? Would you wait to take that camping trip or to visit that national monument that you've always wanted to see? Make every moment count. Tell your family what they mean to you and start working together to create the bond you once had.

What is holding you back?